Honey, you always complain that I don't show enough interest in the fish pond. So while you were at work, I cleaned it out for you. Scrubbed it good too! That rubber liner shines like the day you bought it. And while I was at it, I cleaned the filter as well. You won't have to clean those pads again for weeks, because I soaked them in bleach all day. Aren't you proud of me?

Do you scream in bloody anger, or burn sole marks in the carpet as you head out the back door, road runner style, to check on your pets that you so fondly value as much as your children.

Well, this is definitely grounds for exile if not divorce, and in fact a true story. I have to laugh as I write this because I know that there are those of you out there calling your wife or hubby right now and saying "come here and read this", so that you can remind their already sore pride of all the frantic rushing around figuring out what to do about the ammonia and nitrite levels, that is if the he or she who cleaned the pond remembered to add the declor before adding your prized collection back to the squeaky clean pond. If not, the undertakers have to make a living too.

Nitrosomonas and Nitrobacter are the two primary bacteria that live in your pond to biodegrade fish waste products. These two bacteria are naturally occurring and need surface area to grow on and good water circulation to thrive. N1 and N2 are very efficient at consuming waste products if there is enough surface area for them to grow on in significant quantities (billions) to support your fish load. What most folks do not realize is that the filter that they bought at the store that said it was good for 2000 gallons, might mechanically filter 2000 gallons as long as there are only a few fish living within (the filter will go unnamed, but applies to most depot type filters). But what the marketing people rely on is naturally occurring bacteria to cycle the pond, which normally takes from 4 to 6 weeks. Does this bacteria grow on the filter? Yes. Depending on the size of the pond, only about 1% of the bacteria needed will grow on their filter. Where does the rest of it grow? You guessed it. On the liner and inside the pond plumbing. That awful slime coat, as some people call it is the very life support system for most ponds. I call it green gold.

When draining and cleaning your pond, never scrub the liner with a bristle brush. Simply use a garden hose set on about a 1 to 2 foot diameter spray pattern, and let the hose run full force to wash down the liner of the pond. The bacteria is fairly resilient, so you do not have to treat it as if it were going to die at the least disturbance. As long as the bacteria is not killed by excessive drying or chemical cleansing, it will regenerate very rapidly even from a stunted state. If you keep large numbers, or expensive fish, in your pond, it is best to use a well designed biological filter system that contains within it, media that provides significant surface area for billions of bacteria to grow on, and be biological sentinels for the waste products that your pond produces. Most good filter systems are not cheap. I supposed that one could also say that all expensive filter systems are not good either. But I would always tell you the factual truth about any system that you were to inquire about. Buying a filter system is like buying an insurance policy. There are inexpensive policies that protect you on a limited basis, and assure you that whatever is being protected, will at least not vanish from disaster. And there are more expensive policies which give you great assurance that your tangible life will not be greatly affected by a disaster. Whichever you choose, be educated about the function of bacteria, and rationalize on how much effort you want to put into maintaining a filter. There is a rule of thumb that applies to most filter systems. You will either expend time or money on a filter system. On the one hand, you can purchase a reasonably inexpensive (there's a relative term for you), filter system and spend quite a bit of time cleaning or changing filter pads (I actually know folks today that have to clean their filters daily to keep them from clogging up). Or you can spend a bit more initially, and have a trouble free system that you only have to sweat over for a whopping 5 or 10 minutes a week (depending on which brand of filter you buy). - - - -

Back to the liners > Although you do not generally want to scrub your liner. Depending on the level of maintenance you perform on your pond, you may want to scub portions of your liner in a cycle, if it has been more than a season since your last major pond cleaning. A septic condition can occur on a liner or the bottom of a concrete pond where new colonies of beneficial bacteria and algae grow over old colonies as they die off. This can cause fungus and detrimental bacteria to grow in the septic anaerobic thin layer. This condition is quite common in ponds which receive little cleaning and are not in direct sunlight. One of the most common types of problems from this condition is the proliferation of Branchiomyces, which generally occurs in water over 80 degrees. The symptomology of Branchiomyces is the fish will swim around slowly, isolated from the other fish. Sometimes the fish will hang around the waterfall, and frequently gasp for air. Although this is a common characteristic behavior of most any fish suffering from pathogenic organisms, a dead giveaway to Branchiomyces is that the fishes gills will have macroscopic (visible to the naked eye) green striations within the red gill villi. If you ever suspect Branchiomyces in your pond, you can easily clear it by lowereing the water temperature to around 70-75 degrees and treat the pond with formaline.

If you would like to maintain a healthy slime coat on your pond liner, simply scrub small portions of the liner at a time to break up any anaerobic conditions that might exist. Never scrub the entire liner unless you have a very good fully cycled biological filter. Remember, most smaller ponds get greater biological filtration through exposed water contact surfaces, rather than a small supposedly biological filters that come from depot type stores.

I wish you much success in your search for a filter at a price that fits your budget. Typically I will suggest that you intend to spend about half of what you spend on your pond, including stone and liner, for a pump and filter system. Any "pond wise" pond installer will tell you the very same. And as you may have to catch your breath at the price of some filters, remember, its either time, or money, and the filter is the most important part of your pond.

Humor? You are either dedicated to your Koi, or an idiot, when you dig up both your gas and water line with a backhoe at 10PM while you are trying to get out just one more shovel full before dark! : (